


A Human Life

by Trekiael



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 9x03, Bottom!Cas, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, M/M, Toys, solo sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:12:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trekiael/pseuds/Trekiael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After he falls, Castiel is left with nothing. Until the day a man offers him a job he can't refuse. Castiel, alias Clarence becomes Emmanuel again, for a few interested people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Human Life

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a rewrite of 9x03. A bit of a fix-it, hopefully, especially when it comes to April. Very different from canon though, obviously, since Cas does a rather unusual job... But could totally fit in season 9 as it is.

Castiel tries to be as unconspicious as possible, but it doesn't take long for someone to notice him. He's vulnerable now. He experiments hunger, fatigue, and other annoying body functions. He has to walk everywhere, he gets dirty, his beard grows. But most of all, he's weak. Oh he still has fighting instincts and combat moves, but he's fragile, and there's no guarantee he might come out alive from a smugglery if he ever becomes a target.

 

Being human is difficult. Being a human without any ressource is dangerous.

 

He's sitting in a small coffee shop nursing a bagel that he managed to buy with the coins he collected one by one, appreciating every bite of it, when the man approaches him. Castiel is confused, and his stomach clenches in fear that he will be asked to leave as he cannot be smelling all that pleasant, but the man is smiling.

 

He looks human, though these days, Castiel cannot say that for sure. He's middle-aged, with a few deep wrinkles and greying hair. He seems pleasant, and presents nicely in that way humans that are well-fed, have money and take good care of their appearance do. Castiel is only still learning about these subtilities, but he's observant enough to notice some pattern, and little by little, he's getting there.

 

“Hello there. My name is Dan.”  
  
Castiel eyes the offered hand a little warily, but finally reaches for it with his own and shakes it lightly.

 

“Clarence.”

 

The man smiles and slides in the seat in front of Castiel.

 

“Clarence. That's a good name.”

 

He nods to himself and crosses his fingers over the table, leaning forward to peer closely at Castiel's face. Dan has light brown eyes and tanned skin. Castiel thinks he might have some hispanic origins, despite the name.

 

“Can I do something for you?”

 

Castiel is confused. Generally, the only times people adress him is to tell him to fuck off or make fun of him for being homeless. It hurts every time, because Castiel's home is far away from there, and for various reasons, he cannot go back to it. He means to think about Heaven, but he's not entirely sure anymore.

 

Dan laughs.

 

“No, Clarence. The question is whether I can do something for you.”

 

He reaches in the inner pocket of his suit jacket and pulls out a little metallic case. He flicks it open easily, from years of practice, and takes a small piece of rigid paper from it, like a card, and hands it to Castiel while explaining further.

 

“You see, I own a certain compagny. And sometimes I go around to recruit new employees from the people that look like they could fit my profile and need a job. I hope I am not wrong in my assumption that you are not currently living a lifestyle that doesn't really fit you.”  
  
Castiel smiles bitterly at that. That couldn't be any closer to the truth. He's an Angel of the Lord, a soldier meant to fight evil and protect humanity. He's meant to fly from one place to the other with a stretch of his wings and... Anyway, he's not meant to starve himself to death in cold, wet streets while staying alert for anything to kill him.

 

“I thought so. Well, you see, I happen to be hiring. And you, my friend, happen to fit what I'm looking for. A little older, perhaps, but a face and build like yours cannot be ignored. Also, I'm a fairly good judge of character, if I can say it so myself, and I like what I can read from yours. I'm putting my money on you being a hit.”

 

Castiel is a bit surprised. It's not the first one he heard that his vessel is attractive, but he never gave it too much thoughts, especially not in terms of it giving him a job. He looks down at the card in his hand. In the middle, in elegant writing, the name 'Daniel Hunt' is etched. Under it, Castiel can read 'Deep Pleasure Production'. There's also telepone number, address and mail on it.

 

“'Deep Pleasure Production'?”

 

Dan chuckles and Castiel blinks up at him.

 

“Yes. I assure you, we're a very serious compagny and our employees are all treated well. After all, the main goal is to get people off the streets first of all. Many of them go on with their lives after they manage to get back on their feet, but a good portion does stay because they actually like it there, and the job is not the most awful one they could have.”

 

Castiel nods, but he's still confused.

 

“And what would be expected of me for this job?”

 

Dan smiles reassuringly.

 

“Nothing you're not comfortable with. You will not be required to do girls if you are gay, or the other way around. Any other detail can be discussed. Everyone has something they're really good at, even if that's just making the prettiest faces and noises while being pounded in the mattress.”

 

Realization dawns on Castiel and his eyes widen.

 

“Pornography... You are offering me a job in pornography.”

 

Dan is surprised, but still smiles.

 

“You couldn't guess from the name? Anyway, yes, this is a job as a porn actor. As I said, we're a serious compagny. Discreet, too, if needed. The pay is correct and-”

 

“I can't.”

 

Castiel shakes his head and drops the card, putting his hands on his lap while Dan slowly closes his mouth.

 

“I-I don't... I never...”

 

Castiel swallows nervously, thickly. Sex is... He might be a little more comfortable with it now, after all these years, but it still makes him incredibly nervous. Dan's smile is indulgent.

 

“As I said, I'm a fairly good judge of character. I wouldn't have gone as far as to assume you were a virgin, but I thought something along these lines. This is why I didn't jump straight to the porn actor thing.”

 

He paused, waiting for Castiel to calm down a little, and continued.

 

“There's a solution. It's not the most lucrative one, but for cases like yours, it's one that I'm willing to offer. What do you think about solo sex? Just you, some props, and a camera. We can even make the camera disappear. And from there, when you are more comfortable, we can start introducing other actors in the scene.”

 

Castiel understands that this man is willing to do him a favour, why, he doesn't know, but that much is obvious. Solo, as he calls it, is only majorly better. Sure, it doesn't involve another partie and Castiel has a very clinical view of his vessel, but the general idea of sex and pleasure still makes him nervous. Dan seems to understand his hesitation and calls the waitress.

 

“I don't need an answer right away, Clarence. Take your time, think about it. And if you decide to go for it, give me a call, you can do it from here, Jannine always has an open line for me, or drop directly at the office. If you need to take a look first, that's also fine. There's no pressure at all, it's your decision, I'm only here to give you a hand, and if we decide to work together, I'm sure we'll do something great.”

 

The waitress comes then, while Castiel is still staring down at the card in concentration.

 

“I'll leave you to it. Order anything you want to eat, it's on me.”

 

Castiel wants to protest, but Dan brushes it off and he simply thanks him. They shake hands and just like that, Dan is gone. Castiel ends up ordering burger and fries, and Jannine brings him a nice, warm piece of pie too, assuring him that it's perfectly alright and that Dan won't even notice.

 

**

 

For the next few days, Castiel keeps thinking about it. He wants to be practical about it. If Dan wasn't lying, it's a chance for him to get off the streets and stop starving. There's still that part of him, though, that gets incredibly nervous at the prospect.

 

It's not until he gets attacked by an angel in a bus that he makes his decision.

 

He's a little bruised and for the first time really scared for his life when he decides that he's being ridiculous. He's standing in a small street, going through some garbage for leftovers. A lady approaches, eyeing him pitifully. Before she can open her mouth, Castiel is dropping whatever he had in hand and running past her, out of the alley and down the main street. He runs and runs until he's standing in front of an old building that's fairly well preserved. He's drenched and breathing hard, but something inside of him is screaming.

 

No one asks him about who he is beside his name as he enters the lobby. A towel and a warm cup of coffee are handed to him, and he's told to wait for Dan in one of the chair, as he's holding a meeting. About 15 minutes later, the man, still cheerful and obviously happy to see him comes in and guides him to his office, where he's offered a croissant and another cup of coffee.

 

“So I see you've considered my proposal. You won't regret it. Come, I'll give you a tour.”

 

Castiel follows Dan as he shows him around. The building is a lot cleaner from the inside, even if the narrow corridors and all wooden doors and floorboards make it seem like a low budget production. Dan is quick to explain, though, without being prompted, that he tries to give some sort of authenticity and hates the cheap, fake look in the porn industry. Apparently, what works best nowadays is amateur, as people like to see people enjoying themselves more than perfect plastic.

 

Castiel has no clue what he's talking about, but nods along.

 

He's introduced to some employees who seem to have no issue whatsoever with walking around naked or barely covered, and are all very friendly. Some praise him for his looks, male and females alike, but those comments are easily ignored. Dan seems to like that, the fact that Castiel is not full of himself. Of course, Castiel can't really say that this body doesn't belong to him in the first place, and that his reall appearance would scare all of them to tears.

 

Castiel gets to see most of the rooms the filming takes place in, those that are not currently in use at least. They all have different atmosphere, but, like Dan said, they look realistic and the furnitures and objects, props, as Dan call them, are mostly ancient, but not falling apart. Castiel also gets to see the resting room between takes, wich has a TV, couches, and a kitchenette. As well as some other rooms like the storage room and the showers.

 

“Alright, let's go upstairs.”

 

Castiel nods wordlessly and follows Dan up narrow stairs. He ends up in a long corridor with doors on each side all along it.

 

“This is the dormitory. Since I mostly recruit people off the streets, you get to have a room until you can afford an appartment. They're not big, but they're mostly used only for sleeping anyway, since the guys spend most of their time downstairs to watch TV and stuff.”

 

Dan leads him down the corridor and opens a room with a key. He pushes the door open and lets Castiel go in first. The room is, as said, small. With a single bed, a nightstand with a lamp, drawers, some shelves. But it looks clean, smells nice, and the colours are warm and welcoming.

 

“This one is free. Jenny left a week ago. So if you want it, it's yours.”

 

Castiel approaches the bed, the tip of his fingers very lightly grazing at the sheets. He feels like something is stuck in his throat, and his eyes sting when he looks at Dan.

 

“Thank you.”

 

He doesn't have much to say. This is the most kindness he has received since he fell, and if the price to pay is sex, which, from what he's seen, doesn't seem like much of a price at all, then he would be a fool to refuse.

 

“You're very welcome. You should take a warm shower before you catch something. I'll fetch you some clothes. We should probably take care of these nasty bruises too, it would be a shame to scar a face like this.”

 

Dan winks and Castiel nods, his lips curling into the smallest smile before he drops his head.  
  
**  
  
After a long, warm shower where Castiel is able to scrub off all the dirt with good smelling soap and shampoo, he puts on some jeans, shirt and sweater. All a bit big on him, since he lost weight and muscle mass from lack of porteins, but soft, comfy, and most importantly, clean.

 

He joins the other employees in the resting room where someone announces they're going to warm up leftovers of dinner for him while a lady takes care of his bruises. She's nice and smiles a lot. Quite chatty too. Her name is April, and she looks somewhat familiar, but Castiel would be hard pressed to pinpoint where he saw her before. She jokes that he probably saw her in a video, but he stammers that the only one he saw was years ago and involved a babysitter and a pizzaman.

 

The evening goes well, and everyone is very open about their job. They make jokes about sex, especially things that happened during scenes, that make Castiel squirm a little in embarrassment. By the end of it, his head is spinning with all the mental images and the new words that had been dropped casually. He doesn't think there will be a day he'll be able to speak about swallowing semen (cum, as they call it), so easily.

 

But despite the embarrassment, Castiel feels warm an welcome in a way he hasn't been able to since he fell, and that night, he sleeps well for the first time.

 

**

 

The next day, he goes down for breakfast, ready to start his first day even as he shakes in nervousness. What he doesn't expect, though is to be met with an entirely different atmosphere. Everyone look grave, some are even crying, and Dan, for the first time since he met him, is not smiling.

 

“Clarence. Good morning.”

 

“Good morning. Is there something the matter?”

 

Portia, the girl that served him dinner, breaks down in sobs. Castiel's frown deepens and Dan sighs while laying a hand on her shoulder.

 

“One of ours was attacked last night. She doesn't live there anymore and has an appartment downtown. I think you met her, April.”

 

Castiel nods, of course he remembers her.

 

“Is she...”

 

He stops himself when he realizes he's being a bit insensitive. It's something he's not quite used to yet. Dan sighs again and squeezes Portia's shoulder.

 

“Her condition is not stable, and we don't know yet.”

 

Castiel nods again.

 

“All of you, take today off. Clarence, come find me after breakfast, we'll talk some more. Since there won't be anything done today, I'll coach you.”

 

**

 

After a light breakfast that Castiel has troubles swallowing despite his constant hunger, he goes to Dan's office. But instead of staying there, Dan leads him to a shooting room. There's a large bed in it, and a table full or various objects. Dan takes one, shaped like a penis only blue and made of plastic, and holds it up.

 

“Since we're going for solo, you will have to use props. I don't expect you to use dildos on the first try, but you should familiarize yourself with them. Maybe start using one out of camera at first, to get used to the feeling.”

 

Castiel frown in frustration, not entirely sure what is expected of him. He takes one, randomly, that is made of glass and not exactly shaped like a penis, more like a stick with some balls along its length.

 

“I don't know how to use them.”

 

Dan says nothing, and when Castiel looks up, he sees that he's really surprised, eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

 

“Really? Oh... I didn't think there was anyone that didn't know what are dildos for...”

 

He pauses, obviously trying to think where to start, and finally crosses his arms over his chest.

 

“Alright, tell me this, what do you know about sex?”

 

It's a very confusing question, and Castiel frowns deeply. Still, he does his best to answer.

 

“Well. I know that sex is used by humans as a mean of reproduction, that it can be very pleasurable, and practiced between men and women, men and men, women and women. I know that it can involve more than one partner at once. And I know that the penis is inserted in the vagina or the mouth or the butt.”

 

He pauses, tilting his head to the side, and tries to recall what he heard the previous night. He wasn't listening too closely, but some information still settled in his mind.

 

“I know that apparently some people like to see others swallowing semen or having it covering their faces. I know that condoms are used for protection. Oh and that sometimes slapping is involved.”

 

Dan chuckles.

 

“Alright, there's a lot of missing stuff here, but we'll get there.”

 

He raises a dildo and wriggles it a little.

 

“We'll get there, but let's start with what you need to know right away. Dildos are toys that you use to pleasure yourself or sometimes your partner. They can be insterted in any orifice. In your case, that means in your mouth for show, but most importantly, in your ass. Some guys can come just from prostate stimulation, others not. We'll see about you. Clear so far?”

 

“Yes, I believe so.”

 

Dan nods and grabs a bottle next, holding it up.

 

“This is your best friend. That's lube. Never, ever hesitate to use it. Buttsex is great, but it needs a little bit of a hand to work, and that's where lube comes in handy. Don't ever try to stick anything in there if you don't have anything to use as lube, alright?”

 

Castiel takes the bottle from Dan's hand and curiously presses on it. Some clear liquid leaks on his fingers and he rubs them together. It's very slippery, and he understands how that would make any insertion easier.

 

“What I suggest is that you take the room for the day. Have fun, explore yourself, use any prop you want, experiment. Just be careful not to go for too big too fast. Make sure to prepare yourself properly. Use your fingers at first. Get used to it. Just come out when you need to eat or you need a break. If you have any question, ask anyone or come see me.”

 

Castiel feels suddenly very nervous, but he will be alone, and he will have all the time. He swallows thickly and nods.

 

“Don't worry, Clarence. I promise you'll like it.”

 

Castiel nods again, definitely not sure about that one, and with a single squeeze to his shoulder, Dan leaves the room, leaving Castiel alone.

 

**

 

At first, Castiel doesn't know what to do. He shuffles around the room, sitting down and standing up, looking at the toys closely... Finally, he takes a deep breath and lays down on the bed. He's very stiff, but he forces himself to relax. He closes his eyes and hesitantly brings his hands to his own body, caressing himself over his clothes.

 

It's not... a disagreeable sensation.

 

He bites his lip and lets one hand sneak under his shirt to caress his chest, while the other lightly squeezes his crotch. The double sensations are a bit stronger than he expected, and his heart starts pounding while his legs fall apart. Maybe... there's merit to it.

 

Feeling bolder, he reaches for the zipper of his pants and pulls it down, also unclasping the button, until he can fit his hand and touch himself through his underwear only. This time he gasps, brows scrunching and hips authomatically jerking into his hand. It feels good, and despite his nervousness, he wants to keep going.

 

Realizing the clothes are only going to be in the way and wanting to do it properly, he undresses completely and lays back down. This time, he's excited and a little impatient to see what he can do. One of his hand goes up his chest and his back arches off the bed when he touches a nipple. He never noticed before how sensitive these could be.

 

His other hand, meanwhile, caresses down his inner thigh, making it tingle. When it reaches his crotch, he takes his balls in his hands and roll them gently. He doesn't expect it to feel this good and he abruptly cries. His other hand releases his nipple to join the other one between his legs, wrapping around his length which is already almot fully hard.

 

He doesn't know much about it, but after a bit of fumbling, he starts pumping while still playing with his balls. Soon he's pulling on his length furiously, hips jerking up to follow the movements. His head is thrown back and he moans and pants loudly, not ashamed, too lost in pleasure to even realize.

 

Soon, way too soon, his body seizes up. His toes curl in the sheets and he lets out a strangled cry as hot spurts of semen ejaculate from his penis and all over his body, some even landing on his cheek. Once it's over, he slumps, panting, not quite believing what just happened. He hadn't known sex could be this good. So much made sense now.

 

Seeing a box of paper tissue on the nightstand, he takes some and wipes as much semen as he can from his body. Now that it's over, he feels both tired and energized. Also a little guilty, since he's supposed to use the dildos. But he figures he can do it once he's recovered. He has all day after all.

 

Once he manages to catch his breath, he slings his legs over the edge of the bed and pushes himself up. He walks to the props table and, remembering Dan's advice, takes the bottle of lube. He eyes the dildos next. Some are incredibly big, but there are some that are of a much more reasonable size, he hopes, and he takes the one that looks the most normal.

 

Back on the bed, he sits and think for a moment about the easiest way to do this. He needs easy access to his butt, and to be able to see what he's doing as best as possible. Finally, he settles from laying on his back and pulls his legs up until his knees rest on his shoulders, totally ignorant of the great display of flexibility.  
  
He shifts around until he's comfortable enough and blindly reaches for the bottle of lube. Once he finds it, he pours some on his fingers and takes a deep breath. There goes nothing. Holding himself spread by a strong grip on a cheek, he brings his lubed hand to the small hole there. The first contact of his finger makes him jerk and gasp in surprise. It's a lot more sensitive than any other part or his body.

 

His eyes flutter close as he traces the hole gently, teasing the skin there and feeling it relax, but also clench, in a fluttering motion. After a while of doing this, he braces himself and slowly, carefully, pushes the tip of his finger inside, barely past the ring. Despite the position, his back arches and his mouth drops open. It's a strange feeling, to be filled there, but it's very, very far from unpleasant.

 

Satisfied with the experience, he pushes in deeper and deeper until his entire finger is sheathed within. He pauses then, panting, and gently, carefully, curl it inside. It makes him squirm a little. Then he starts gently sliding his finger in and out, which feels ridiculously good. The friction against the ring of muscle sends tingles all over his body, and his penis fills up quickly again.

 

Once the hole is loose enough, he instinctively adds a second finger. It's a bit more of a tight fit, and he's even more careful, but once he adjusts, he has to admit that the additional stretch does feel good. Three fingers is even better. And it's when he has those three fingers all the way inside his body that he finds it. That one spot that makes him see stars.

 

The angle is not the best to reach it, so he twists his wrist a little to the side and curl his fingers. This time he finds it easily and moans, loudly. His entire body freezes while he rubs it furiously, not even bothering to slide his fingers in and out. But he wants more, he wants to really feel it.

 

He's half delirious as he takes his fingers out and grab the dildo, quickly covering it with lube and wasting no time before inserting it. He needs to adjust the angle a few times to find the spot, but once he does, he wraps both hands around the base and pounds the dildo hard inside his body, the double pleasure of the friction and the head of the dildo hitting directly where it's supposed to driving him absolutely crazy.

 

His movements get more and more eratic and his hard penis keeps on jumping right in front of his face. On a whim, he takes his tongue out to lick the head and take it inside his own mouth. He screams around it, the wet warmth of his mouth and the texture of his tongue against the head feeling incredibly too much.

 

After that, it only takes a couple more thrusts for him to ejaculate, directly down his own throat. On instincts, he swallows it all. Once done, he lets his legs flop back down and struggles to catch his breath. The dildo is still inside, but he doesn't mind it there, and is too lazy to take it out. Utterly spent, he falls asleep.

 

For the rest of the day, Castiel experiments. He uses bigger dildos, different shapes too. He likes the beads and plugs. But his favourite is definitely the vibrator, and after lunch, he spends the entire afternoon testing the various vibrators, sometimes not even doing anything but simply lay there and let the vibrator abuse that one spot inside of him.

 

By the end of the day, he's completely, utterly spent, and more relaxed than probably ever before. He's in a permanent state of dizziness when he knocks on Dan's office door.

 

“Ha Clarence! Feeling better I hope.”

 

Castiel is embarrassed, but way too relaxed to do nothing more than vaguely nod.

 

“Good. Let's go check the video then.”

 

Castiel blinks at that.

 

“Video? But I thought...?”

 

Dan laughs and lightly slaps his shoulder.

 

“I only said that to make you relax. A first timer? No way I was letting that slip. This is gold. And depending of how well you did, might even be your best hit.”

 

As it turns out, Dan is even more surprised than Castiel. Apparently, very, very few men are able to perform auto-fellations. Coupled with the fact that Castiel can come from prostate stimulation only and is apparently very sensitive, Dan is more than pleased. Castiel doesn't know what to feel about that, but learning that he has some natural talent, even in such a field, is not entirely unpleasant.

 

**  
  
April doesn't die. It's a close call, apparently, her heart stopping completely at one point, but they manage to bring her back to life. She heals surprisingly well after that, and since she can't afford to pay for hospital bills, even if they pitch in, she's back by the end of the week. Not to work, though, even if she says she can do it. She's different from when Castiel met her, but that's only to be expected. More reserved, less chatty.

 

On the other hand, Castiel's debut video is a real hit. He goes under the name Emmanuel, learning in the process that everyone there is using alias, even Dan, whose real name is Juan Utrera Ramirez. Castiel uses the first benefits of the video to get tattoed. A large anti-possession tattoo in between his shoulder blades, with enochian writings made to hide him from angels in the shape of wings. Dan loves it, and apparently, so do the people watching the video.

 

Castiel makes other videos. He watches a few to get some tips, learn the slang, and try some things. His biggest hits are when his ankles are tied behind his head while he sucks on his cock with a vibrator up his ass, and the one where he's wearing female lingerie while kneeling on the kitchen table and riding a big plug, coming without touching his cock.

 

He also learns that shaving everywhere is a bonus, that cleaning inside is a must, and that if he wears a plug constantly it makes things a lot easier when he has to start a scene. By the end of the second week, he's so well-adapted that it's hard to believe only two weeks prior he knew absolutely nothing about any of this.

 

So far, Dan hasn't asked him to sleep with someone else, though he did make him undergo a HIV test, and Castiel is grateful. Of course, it has to happen eventually, and it's after lunch that he breaks the subject.

 

“Your fans adore you, and will keep watching you doing solos, but more and more of them have been asking to see you get taken by another male. Some want to see you as a top too, with a man or a woman. So I thought you could start with a woman, if that makes you more comfortable for your first time.”

 

Castiel is tense. While he has no longer any issue with sex itself, doing it with someone else is an entire different matter. There's a nagging voice inside of him telling him that he shouldn't, because there's only one person he should be intimate with, and that person isn't here.

 

“April volonteered.”

 

This makes Castiel blink. April is a good looking lady, but then again, all of them are. She has only gotten back in business a couple of days ago, and she's taking it light. She's a bit distant, though not unfriendly, and Castiel wouldn't have expected her to volonteer for him. He feels a litle flattered.

 

They arrange for it to happen that night, and, like the first time, the camera will be set to record by itself, to make him feel more comfortable. The footage will be checked the next day, hopefully useful.

 

Castiel is nervous for the rest of the day. When it's finally time, he walks stiffly to the room designed for it. It's a bedroom, as it's more appropriate for a first time, and April is already there. She makes him feel at ease enough, and kisses him softly. As soon as the door closes, she smiles, and drops to her knees.

 

**

 

Castiel wakes up on his back, with April laying next to him. He ended up falling asleep after, once his nerves let go. It had been a rather pleasant experience, and April had seemed satisfied even if she did most of the work. Castiel still thought he prefered being penetrated himself, but the act itself certainly was more pleasurable with someone else.

 

April wakes up soon after him and greets him. He asks her if he did alright and is relieved when she confirms that. They talk for a little while after that. April is nice and understanding, even if Castiel doesn't dare telling her more than vague elements. It still feels good to let it all out in the open for someone to listen, and he feels much lighter when they're done.  
  
Together, they leave the bed and get dressed. Castiel doesn't think twice before pushing the plug he wears with the same ease he does he clothes back inside himself, followed by the panties Dan assured him would be even better for the video. He's about to grab his jeans when suddenly there's a thud behind his head and everything goes black.

 

This time, when he wakes up, he's on his back, yes, but his hands are tied to the headboard and April is standing right in front of him. For half a second, Castiel thinks it's supposed to be a scene, but then he notices the blade in her hands. His blood runs cold.

 

“You're an angel.”

 

“Not quite. Think. Who takes over poor dying girls' bodies right after their souls are taken.”

 

Castiel doesn't even have to think.

 

“A reaper.”

 

“Bingo.”

 

“I don't understand. Why are you doing this? Why now? After all this time? What do you want?”

 

April, or whatever her reaper name is, laughs. It's a screeching sound, not at all similar to the light sound he heard the night he got there.

 

“Now what would be the fun in that? You're so easy to manipulate, Castiel. Sweet little goodie-two-shoes Castiel that doomed his entire family. You make me sick.”

 

She smirks, but there's no warmth to it.

 

“I admit, though, you're fairly hot. And being the one to take Castiel, the great Castiel's virginity is a real thrill. Especially since that means Dean Winchester not getting it.”

 

Castiel's eyes widen, dread curling in his stomach. But the second after, he screams as she scratches a long line on his chest with the blade. It hurts. Human pain is something else altogether.

 

“Tell me Castiel, what's the plan?”

 

“W-what plan?”

 

Wrong answer. She scratches him again.

 

“You know damn well what plan. Answer me!”

 

“I have no idea what you're talking about!”

 

Again and again. She ends up straddling him, breathing right in his face while drawing more and more lines on his chest.

 

“Stop. Lying. To. ME!”

 

The door opens, and Castiel vaguely hears Dean's voice before the blade penetrates his body, killing him on the spot.

 

**

 

This time when his eyes open, Castiel is utterly confused. He knew he was dead. There was no uncertainity about this. So what is he doing here? What is going on?

 

He stares at Dean. Dean is there, right there, this is not a dream. It's the first time Castiel gets to see Dean's face, as his soul, so bright, so strong, always partially covered it. He cannot see souls anymore, which is why it's so difficult to remember people, but there is absolutely no doubt that this is Dean. And now that Castiel is starting to learn to appreciate aesthetics, he's caught completely off guard by how beautiful he is.

 

“Dean?”

 

“Dammit, Cas! Don't do that again!”

 

Castiel doesn't know what he's not supposed to do, but out of the corner of his eyes, he sees movement and turns his head to look at Sam. Again, there is no doubt that this is Sam, for the simple fact that Dean is here. And that Sam has to be the tallest person Castiel has seen so far.

 

“Sam.”

 

“Cas. What happened, Dean?”

 

Dean explains that he managed to make April heal Castiel before Dean killed her. Her body is still laying there, beside the bed. Castiel winces. He cannot stay here any longer. No one will believe him if he says that she's the one that assaulted him. He mourns the loss of this life he was getting accustomed to, but he supposes that's always the case when you get involved with the Winchesters. Until Death tears us apart.

 

Once Castiel is dressed and in the back of the Impala, he cannot help but notice the glances Sam and Dean keep throwing at each other and at him. Castiel frowns.

 

“What is it?”

 

Dean shifts.

 

“...A porn star, Cas?”

 

Castiel flushes and averts his eyes, looking out of the window with a deep frown.

 

“Yes, Dean.”

 

“And... Any chance we get to see the videos?”

 

“Dean!”

 

Castiel's eyes widen and he turns back to look at Dean, who's pouting at Sam.

 

“What? I'm curious!”

 

“Curious my ass, Dean! God, I can't believe you sometimes! You're such a pervert!”

 

“I don't mind.”

 

The silence that follows his defeaning.

 

“....What?”

 

Castiel licks his lips.

 

“Many people saw them. If you want to see them, you should be able to find them easily on the internet.”

 

Dean cheers, and Castiel hesitates. But if these past few weeks taught him something, is that the less embarrassed you are, the more other people are for you, and the more in control you end up being.

 

“I figure you should anyway, since during every single scene, you're the one I was thinking about.”

 

Castiel's lips twitch as the Impala swerves.

 

“Son of a bitch!”

 

It screeches to a halt. Once they stop completely, Castiel leans back and crosses his arms.

 

“I believe they had to edit a video once, because I screamed your name a few times.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Dan is based a little loosely on Oberyn from Game of Thrones.


End file.
